Life is good

Chops is doing well! :) She was recently diagnosed with a mass cell tumor and had it removed. The surgery went well and the vet said that it looks like he got it all, although I will need to keep an extra eye on her from now on. I was told that boxers commonly get skin cancer, and that most of them tolerate it well. Chops is a mix, and we think she is a pitt bull/boxer mix. She definitely has the pitt tail, I can tell you that for sure! She will just about knock you down when she is happy and wagging her tail - which is most of the time! She is taking antibiotics to keep the risk of infection down, and so far her incision site looks really good!

Well, A Perfect Circle was beyond amazing! It has been 2 weeks since the show and just as I was calming down from that awesomeness I hear that Soundgarden is touring! Tickets went on sale this morning and I was lucky enough to snag a pair. 14 years is a long time, I cant even imagine how many people have been waiting for this tour! I'm still working on uploading my photos and videos from APC, and will get them posted soon. I kept getting scolded by the ushers or "security" or whatever because I got busted taking videos with my phone. Even just a few seconds of video is plenty to eternally refresh my memory of the show :)

I have been passing resumes out like candy this week! I am happy for blessings in disguise. I may not have a job at the moment, but at least I know that I won't have to work overnight anymore, I'm happy about that!

School is going better than expected. Summer classes are over next week and then I only have a week break before the fall semester begins. I am spending my Friday evening studying algebra, what fun! Math has never been my strong point and I am taking an assessment test in the morning that I'm hoping will produce a college-level algebra result. I have taken the assessment once and didn't get that far, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed this time. I need to get this done and over with so that I can sign up for my last class and work towards finishing my degree. Healthcare statistics sounds scary all on its own; I should be happy to be studying algebra instead right now!

Lonliness

I have come to realize that I am terrible at communication. I used to be a socialite and never had trouble meeting people or making friends, but now that I'm older and single its a bit more difficult. I moved out of state a few years ago and as soon as I moved I got into a relationship. 5 years later I see that I was so wrapped up in my relationship that I hadn't taken the time or effort to meet people. Now that I'm single, that is the main thing I have been trying to do. I feel like a hermit because I work at nite and take online classes, so I don't see many people on a regular basis. I decided to do the online dating thing, and put my headline as simply looking to meet new people, but that hasn't turned out so well. Either I meet people who want to start a romantic relationship or I meet people and after we talk for a while it fizzles out and I never hear from them again. It is hard for me to communicate because I lack a verbal filter and have a tendency to just speak my mind and that isn't always the best idea. I have trouble converting my thoughts into meaningful words. I feel like I talk all the time but never really say anything, or at least I don't say what I want to say. And the online dating sites only allow me the option to meet men, because I don't want to look for female friends on a dating site; I wouldn't want there to be any confusion as to my intentions lol! I would like to find friends in general, but I think I need a female close friend in my life. My best friend passed away the day before Thanksgiving last year and I didn't even really get to talk to her much since I had moved away. I miss having that bond with someone else, where you can just talk about whatever without fear of judgement. I get very upset when I feel like people aren't responding to me, and I think that is a main reason that I have communication problems. I get upset or angry and that's when I try to communicate the most; and when I say the meanest and most hurtful things. I just don't understand people anymore. I thought I used to, but either times have changed or I have Or perhaps both. I value connections with other people and it seems like the majority of people out there don't. I just don't understand that.

Finally doing this - for me.

It has been a long time since I have posted anything on here, and shame on me. I started this blog a few years ago so that I could have a place to freely express my thoughts and feelings, but over time I have deleted the majority of my posts for various reasons. I don't intend to make this a diary yet I do intend to use this as a tool to help me deal with life's curve balls. I like to write my thoughts down because it allows me to get everything out without being interrupted and I don't have to worry about translating my thoughts into complete sentences and all that jazz.

So, life is good. Crazy, but good. I finished my medical coding and billing program and I am still working towards my degree. Only taking a couple classes over the summer, it should be a much needed break. One of the classes I am taking is a fitness course, so I am happy about that. I have been wanting to get in better shape and drop a few pounds for a while now and this should be the kick in the ass that I need. I just discovered an app that allows me to track my weight loss and fitness goals, and also another that helps me monitor how many cigarettes I am smoking. These have already been an awesome addition to my plan, and I have found that it helps to plan out my workouts and set a reminder. That way I can't use the "I forgot" excuse.

The plan is to get away from this:


And get a little closer to this:



Things at work, are, well its work what can I say. I've been at my job long enough to feel comfortable about the stability it offers which is something I was lacking in the automotive industry. I have recently updated my resume and plan to pass that out towards the end of the summer. I am all set to take my coding certification test, although I'm terrified to do so! You have to have an extremely high score to pass and its pretty costly, so I want to be sure that I'm ready. My doggies are my world, I love them to death! Scooter is doing well a year after his second TPLO surgery, and the other two like to join him in lounging around the house on these hot summer days :)

The romantic situation is the complicated one; isn't it always! I met a few people from a dating site a while ago but those all turned out to be duds. While I was on vacation I met, er, reconnected with someone. I feel like I connected with this person on such a powerful level that it would be foolish of me not to explore this opportunity. I have never felt like that before, magnetic almost perfectly describes my attraction to this man. That meeting has altered the course of the past few months for me, and I hate that I allow external factors to inhibit my happiness. It is odd how someone who makes you so happy can also make you sad at the same time. I am happy with hope, the possibility of something, yet saddened by the realization that I'm just not lucky in love. I did find this quote that made me think long and hard about my romantic situation “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”. I still feel something there, so I'm not letting go just yet. My heart and brain have been arguing about this; how do you know when to let go? On top of that, I have a friend who wants to take things to the next level, but I'm just not on that same level and I don't know how to make myself any clearer without being downright mean. I don't want to be the bad guy, and I'm trying so hard not to be but I'm not sure that its working.



At least I'm going to see A Perfect Circle next month, finally! I have waited a very long time for this show! I had to wait 8 years before I finally got the chance to see Tool live, and I told myself that I wouldn't see APC until I had seen Tool. So now it is almost time for the show! I have never seen Billy Howerdel perform live so I am pretty amped! I was looking forward to seeing Ashes Divide a couple years ago but they called off the show at the last minute. The show will be near the end of my summer semester - what a perfect way to celebrate!

Adam Monroe

I randomly stumbled upon this guy's talent & passion and I am so glad that I did!

Busted!

Apparently I fell asleep texting the other day, and someone thought it would be funny to snap a photo. The best photos are the ones that are taken when you have no idea, such as this one. It was a true wake up call because I learned that 1) my exercise routine has been working, but not enough yet and 2) I need to pick better outfits for sleeping if people are going to be photographing me :~)

Love Remains

Dear Best Friend,

I love you more daily. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.
I wish you could love yourself the way I love you.
Above all, I wish your life is everything you deserve, because you deserve the world.
I will stand by you forever, my heart will always belong to you.


♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Aries & Sex

I came across this article and felt compelled to share!

"Aries is simple when it comes to sex. They want to rule their partners. They want to dominate. And when it comes to talking dirty, that's exactly how to play things with the Ram. Four letter words are a-okay, so long as they're describing what your Aries can do to you. No need to be faint-hearted here. As with all things in life, the motto for the Ram is bring it on. (Sample: "Four letter word me… I love the way you four letter word me... I can't stop thinking of how hot it is when you grab me and throw me down and… well… four letter word me." Yes, the four letter word here starts with an "f" and yes, you get the point.)"



Really? *Interesting ;-)

Well my motto has been bring it on recently...

Point A to Point B

I'm feeling a bit closer to miss piggy right now at point A....



But hopefully in the near future I'll be feeling more like booty shorts girl at point B!




Because you know what they say...

Crunch Time

Ahh, so it's still crunch time. So far I've been doing pretty good, but I know that pizza for dinner wasn't the best idea! I need to start getting myself on a schedule so I have time to make a healthy dinner and lunch to take to work. I've been using the elliptical for 20 minutes a day and I alternate days strengthening my arms and legs. My main goal is to be physically fit, and of course in order to achieve that I will reach my secondary goals of weight loss and slimming my middle section. It seems so hard to get in the routine, but I know that once I do things will seem a bit easier from. Routine is good, as long as you switch it up once in a while! A few years ago I did awesome, I lost a lot of weight and was exercising regularly. Now I'm shooting for the same thing, except I want to also keep a closer eye on the foods that I eat.

But let's face it, I want to be hotter than I am now. I mean, who doesn't? That's a big factor for me. Damn I'd like to wear that contraption that the girl from Party Of Five is wearing and look good in it! Right now, I would look ridiculous!


My problem is that I have a tendency to agree with this cat's fitness views! Let's get moving kitty!

Coming Around Full Circle

A Perfect Circle is at it again! I'm so excited, this is the best news that I've heard in a long time! Finally, I shall have my chance to see APC! I had the opportunity years ago, but I was determined to see TOOL live first. I also got tickets for Ashes Divide but they canceled a few weeks before the show and it wasn't rescheduled. Here is my chance to see the genius creative pair that is Maynard & Billy!!

Coming Around Full Circle - Click To Read Article & Watch Videos!