Finally doing this - for me.

It has been a long time since I have posted anything on here, and shame on me. I started this blog a few years ago so that I could have a place to freely express my thoughts and feelings, but over time I have deleted the majority of my posts for various reasons. I don't intend to make this a diary yet I do intend to use this as a tool to help me deal with life's curve balls. I like to write my thoughts down because it allows me to get everything out without being interrupted and I don't have to worry about translating my thoughts into complete sentences and all that jazz.

So, life is good. Crazy, but good. I finished my medical coding and billing program and I am still working towards my degree. Only taking a couple classes over the summer, it should be a much needed break. One of the classes I am taking is a fitness course, so I am happy about that. I have been wanting to get in better shape and drop a few pounds for a while now and this should be the kick in the ass that I need. I just discovered an app that allows me to track my weight loss and fitness goals, and also another that helps me monitor how many cigarettes I am smoking. These have already been an awesome addition to my plan, and I have found that it helps to plan out my workouts and set a reminder. That way I can't use the "I forgot" excuse.

The plan is to get away from this:


And get a little closer to this:



Things at work, are, well its work what can I say. I've been at my job long enough to feel comfortable about the stability it offers which is something I was lacking in the automotive industry. I have recently updated my resume and plan to pass that out towards the end of the summer. I am all set to take my coding certification test, although I'm terrified to do so! You have to have an extremely high score to pass and its pretty costly, so I want to be sure that I'm ready. My doggies are my world, I love them to death! Scooter is doing well a year after his second TPLO surgery, and the other two like to join him in lounging around the house on these hot summer days :)

The romantic situation is the complicated one; isn't it always! I met a few people from a dating site a while ago but those all turned out to be duds. While I was on vacation I met, er, reconnected with someone. I feel like I connected with this person on such a powerful level that it would be foolish of me not to explore this opportunity. I have never felt like that before, magnetic almost perfectly describes my attraction to this man. That meeting has altered the course of the past few months for me, and I hate that I allow external factors to inhibit my happiness. It is odd how someone who makes you so happy can also make you sad at the same time. I am happy with hope, the possibility of something, yet saddened by the realization that I'm just not lucky in love. I did find this quote that made me think long and hard about my romantic situation “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”. I still feel something there, so I'm not letting go just yet. My heart and brain have been arguing about this; how do you know when to let go? On top of that, I have a friend who wants to take things to the next level, but I'm just not on that same level and I don't know how to make myself any clearer without being downright mean. I don't want to be the bad guy, and I'm trying so hard not to be but I'm not sure that its working.



At least I'm going to see A Perfect Circle next month, finally! I have waited a very long time for this show! I had to wait 8 years before I finally got the chance to see Tool live, and I told myself that I wouldn't see APC until I had seen Tool. So now it is almost time for the show! I have never seen Billy Howerdel perform live so I am pretty amped! I was looking forward to seeing Ashes Divide a couple years ago but they called off the show at the last minute. The show will be near the end of my summer semester - what a perfect way to celebrate!