"This Is It"

i am amped to see the movie tomorrow...i shall be prepared with junior mints and tissues.

Things are about to change

Well, it's officially almost time for school. College classes start on Monday, and it's already Thursday! I have been busy the past few weeks trying to get everything squared away. I have all of my books, and I was even able to purchase some software that I needed at the campus bookstore, how great is that?! I am so thankful for financial aid, because without it I would not be able to attend classes at all. My sister is 17 and she just went off to college last week...and here I am 10 years older, following right in her footsteps! Of course I did attend college right after high school myself, I just didn't put as much effort into it as I should have and therefore didn't manage to learn much or get very far. My textbooks might as well be written in a totally different language, because the information looks so foreign to me! But I have decided that this is something that I really need to do, so I'm putting my all into it! The only other thing that I could ask for right now is a better work schedule, I only work part-time but I have to work 2 different shifts. It's not very fun to have to work during the day and at night without a class schedule, let alone when you add a more strict daily schedule on top of that. I am fairly confident that everything will work out just fine, as long as I can put my nerves behind me!

♥

I cannot wait to wake up the sleeping man that's in bed right now. I am so lucky to have him in my life!

♥ ♥ ♥

Dallas Zoo Trip

Tool Live In San Antonio 7-24-09

I did not shoot any of these videos, I found them all on YouTube. I did take videos with my phone but they didn't turn out nearly as well ;)
This show was beyond amazing and the light show was a spectacular surprise!

Texas Ski Ranch

Such A Tragedy

i keep listening to "Man In The Mirror" over and over and i can't help but cry each time. Michael Jackson was such a wonderful and caring man, i just wish he would have gotten the respect and love that he deserved while here on this earth. i can't really seem to wrap my mind around this entirely yet. i've always been a fan, i just can't believe it. the man who inspired me to make a difference has been taken from us in this world. why?

Forty-Six & 2 Piano Cover

amped

well, in the middle of my currently crashing world, i get to go see TOOL in San Antonio soon. i am so freakin' amped! it was difficult to get the tickets, and i thought after the dallas show sold out that this show would do the same. if it did, i was one of the few who got through at the right time. :)
it's going to be a long trip, but i am going to do everything in my power to make sure it's a good one. see, last time i went to see TOOL it was in Oklahoma City and although it was a fabulous show, my stupidity ruined the trip. now i'm no longer "with" the man i'm going to the show with but no doubt it will be a fabulous and memorable experience. and this time i'm definitely not going to get drunk until after the show...i can't believe i did that last time! not very long now...sweet anticipation!

waiting on the edge

i got laid off from a decent job in February, on Friday the 13th actually, and i took the first job that i was offered after that. it is a very easy job, but there are a lot of drawbacks. so i decided to look for something else, and got a job working for Chevrolet. i put in my 2 weeks notice and i have a couple more days before my last day. this morning i got a call from the person who was going to be my manager and she told me that they had to shut down the Chrysler dealership all together, and that the higher-ups had put a freeze on Chevrolet's hiring. so i had the worst nite of my life last nite, and then this morning i get that call. i called my current boss and asked if they had someone to fill my spot yet and he said yes. 3 different people have pretty much screwed me over and have just said "i'm sorry." i'd like to think that saying all of these people screwed me over is an exaggeration, but it's not. my current job doesn't document hours or taxes properly, my supposed-to-be new job told me to put my 2 weeks in and then tells me that they can't hire me anymore. and then someone else hurt me beyond belief. i just don't understand why this is happening to me all at once. i guess when it rains it really does pour. at least i have a roof over my head and a car to get me where i need to go. and i have an updated resume, that helps things.

TOOL Tickets

TOOL tickets went on sale today for the July 25th show at Nokia Theatre through ticketmaster. they went on sale at 10:00 and i was online 45 minutes before just in case they went on sale a few minutes early. at 9:57 ticketmaster allowed me to search for tickets and almost instantly came back with "no tickets available". i repeated this process of trying to get tickets for over an hour after they went on sale with no luck. now it's been confirmed that the show is officially sold out. fucking great.
so you obviously can't get tickets online, and if you call on the phone they put you on hold and you're not able to purchase tickets when they go on sale. if you go to a retail location and there are more than 2 people in line they hand out random numbers. so i could be the very first person in line but the very last person in line gets my tickets. that's bullshit. and if the shows wouldn't sell out so damn fast it wouldn't be such a big deal; but this is TOOL we're talking about and i would do everything in my power to make sure i'm #1 in line.
so i called ticketmaster later in the day, after the show was confirmed to be sold out. i asked them just how exactly one is supposed to purchase tickets and got no answers. and it's not like you can get your tickets anywhere else...ticketmaster is the only option.
i am still planning to try and get tickets to one of the other shows as soon as they are released, but who knows if i'll happen to get that lucky.
this is the second time that this has happened because of ticketmaster. the last time TOOL came to town they did a show in Dallas and it was sold out in 3 seconds. 3 seconds! that's crazy! and someone that i spoke to at ticketmaster said that all of the tickets are not released at the same time. she said that they are released in groups. what the hell? i just cannot believe this, how can they do this? and to the fucking scalpers, quit buying up the fan's well-deserved tickets!

Wilmington

it's so sad to see this happen in my hometown. i know several people who work at DHL (formerly Airborne) and i have worked there myself. i can't imagine what the loss has done to the city.

Sometimes you want to help...

a little while ago this man came into the hotel where i work and said he needed a place to stay. he said he didn't have any money and that he had a baby in the car and he ran out of formula and they didn't have anywhere to stay for the nite. but why would you leave a baby in the car???
this was at about 3:00 in the morning, so i was skeptical.

he could have been feeding me a crock of shit, but what if he was telling the truth?

i just put in my 2 weeks notice here, so i wasn't worried about getting fired if i went ahead and gave him a free room. i was, however, worried that he may just be telling me his sob story to get in the door to rob or shoot me. i'm a 20-something female working alone at nite...i want to be as freakin' safe as possible!

so i told him a couple of other hotels in the area that he could check with. i should have given him the name and address of the homeless shelter, but i didn't. perhaps in my gut i felt like it was a bogus story.
nonetheless, i still fell a little bit guilty for not helping him out. i just said a prayer for him anyway, whatever his situation may be.

it sucks that this is such an untrusting world. when did i become a part of that?

MJK

11 May, 2009 (10:38pm)
DALLAS TOOL SHOW

is confirmed. Tickets will be on-sale this... Friday. One of the best Tool shows ever will be on JULY 25... at the NOKIA THEATER at GRAND PRAIRIE. And being that it's such a big state... who knows... maybe more.

this changes everything

i just recently found out that monkeys possess 99% of human DNA...how have i gone this far in my adult life without being aware of this?! i have always believed in creation, and haven't given evolution too much thought. i never disagreed, because i know that science speaks for itself, but i just never looked too much into the whole idea. now that i have this knowledge, how can i doubt evolution? i'm not a very religious person but i do believe in God. i can't give specifics beyond that; because i'm not so sure myself. but i personally believe in both - i think that God created monkeys with the game plan in mind to have them gradually evolve into humans. why? who knows, but i definitely know that this piece of information rocked my beliefs to the core.

i have had a pretty stressful week and i am anxiously awaiting the comfort of my bed after work. my job is pretty much bullshit, so i'm in the process of trying to find another one.

Caught In The Undertow

Undertow-Tool
Gone under two times. I've been struck dumb by a voice that speaks from deep beneath the cold black water. It's twice as clear as heaven, and twice as loud as reason. It's deep and rich like silt on a riverbed and just as undisturbing. The current's mouth below me opens up around me. Suggests and beckons all while swallowing. It surrounds and drowns and sweeps me away. But I'm so comfortable... Too comfortable. shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up shut up you're saturating me. So how could I let this bring me back to my knees again again again under for the third time. I've been baptized by your voice. it screams from deep beneath the endless water. and it's half as high as heavenand half as clear as reason. it's cold and and black like silt on the riverbed. But I'm so comfortable. Far too comfortable. Why don't you kill me, I'm weak and numb and insignificant, and I'm back on my knees. lost in euphoria. I'm back down. I'm in the undertow. I'm helpless and awake in the undertow. I'll die within your undertow. It seems there's no other way out of this undertow. euphoria.



Last nite when I arrived for my shift I was informed that one of our guests had overdosed in a suicide attempt and the ambulance was called to take him to the hospital. I didn't see him at all, but I heard that he is a young guy. That's so sad. I know the feeling of despair and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I just wish people, myself included, could just step outside of the box and take a look at the big picture in perspective. Of course that's easier said than done.

On a lighter note, I had to go pay my bullshit ticket for failing to stop at a stop sign. It's a brand new stop sign and I was in a hurry and just blew right past it. When I was pulled over, the cop asked me the usual "do you know why i pulled you over?" to which i responded "probably because I was speeding." Then he says, "no, but we can add speeding to the list." And sure enough, he adds speeding to my ticket for 1 mile over the limit. What a dick! And his name was Officer Dixx-how fitting! Anyway, I just had to pay a fine for failing to stop and I have to sign up for defensive driving. I know that there is some sort of a comedy defensive driving class, so I'm going to try and find that. Might as well make the best of it!

Maynard Wine Signing 3-23-09

I absolutely love Maynard James Keenan! TOOL is by far my favorite band, with A Perfect Circle as a close second. And we can't forget about Puscifer!
A coworker told me that Maynard was going to be doing a wine signing here in Texas, and I almost didn't believe him! I couldn't believe that now was my chance to meet Maynard! After some research, I found out that my coworker was in fact correct, and that Maynard was going to be signing bottles of his wine at a Whole Foods store. Score! So I had to go get my line placement ticket in the morning and then go back later in the afternoon for the actual signing. (I was #88) I met a girl in line who had been to the store the previous nite and was told that she couldn't purchase any of the wine, but if she came back the next day someone would discretely sell her a bottle of the coveted wine. I showed up at just the right time, because as soon as I got there we went right inside and got our wine early. I purchased a bottle of Merkin 2006 Chupacabra.
As soon as I puled up to the place, my heart dropped. I couldn't believe I was about to meet Maynard in the flesh! Since my new line buddy and I already had our wine purchased, we were allowed to go to the front of the line for the autograph. I was soo extremely nervous! It was a very controlled environment, with a closed off area that he was doing the signing in. I thought it was going to be like an assembly line, get your autograph and go. But I was pleasantly surprised when I walked around the corner and saw that it was a very intimate setting-just Maynard and I all by ourselves! (Well, and the wine-passer and the cop.) It was so strange, I walked in and Maynard was sitting down at a table and there was a guy that you hand your bottle to, then he hands it to Maynard to sign, then Maynard gives it back to the guy to give back to me. Damn, I didn't even get to touch him! He was wearing a black leather jacket, which really took me by surprise. He looked so sophisticated, I suppose it was a semi-sophisticated event. He didn't seem to enthused about the whole idea, but we all appreciated the fact that he took time out of his day just to make some fans happy.
When I got in front of him, I turned into a second grader. My heart was racing and my palms were all clamy! I had so many things that I wanted to say to him, but all I could manage to tell him was how nice it was to meet him. What a looser, I know! As I was looking at him, all of those lyrics that I hear on a daily basis that have helped me out in so many troubled times flodded my mind. It's ok, I firmly believe that we shall meet again, and next time I won't turn into a starstruck, lovesick blubbering fool! All in all, it was a fantastic once-in-a-lifetime experience.
Now I'm more than ready for this summer's TOOL tour...I cannot wait to see them again live!


http://www.caduceus.org/

doggies

i love my doggies! sometimes i forget how much they enrich my life :)

i love the weekend

my weekend is almost over already :( i love the weekend because it's the only time that i have to spend with my man and relax. it just always goes by way too quickly!



this is just one of the many things that i'm passionate about...

the battle is officially on

so i started this blog in order to have a place to express my feelings, andi haven't been doing much of that lately! well, now is the time! i really need to loose some weight, and i'm hoping that writing about it on a regular basis will help me keep myself in check.
i've always been a muffin-top girl, even as far back as second grade i felt fat. my parents divorced when i was very young and one of my father's reasons for leaving my mother was because she had gotten fat. after they split, i'd still spend every other weekend with my father. one day when mom was helping me get ready for my weekend with dad, she told me when i saw him to tell him that i was fat, and to ask if he would quit loving me because of it too. i was only 6 years old! you would think that something like that would steer me clear of the path of obesity, but you would be wrong. all through school up until graduation, i always felt different from everyone else. i wouldn't do a lot of social things because i was simply ashamed of myself and embarrased about my looks. not only did i have a weight struggle, but i also have bad skin. and in high school, looks were everything. now that i look at my senior photo i realize that i was pretty darn cute in school, perhaps even pretty. and what i wouldn't give to be the same size now as i was back then!
now it's 9 years later and i still continue to struggle with my weight and overall body image. about 4 years ago i was at my heaviest weight. around that time i moved and was pleasantly suprised when i began to loose weight, perhaps about 20 lbs in total. then it slowly crept back on, and this time i was determined to do something about it. i started exercising at the fitness center within my apartment complex and lost 40 lbs! i was the smallest that i had ever been in my adult life and i loved it! well, i moved out of those apartments and didn't get into another workout routine and the weight just came right back on. now that i have acces to a couple of fitness machines, i'm not able to use them. for about 2 weeks i was using a stair climber and a treadmill as my exercise and it was going ok. not long after i started, my knee started hurting when i was exercising. and then my ankle would hurt sometimes, probably because i injured it last year and couldn't afford the physical therapy to make it stronger. so that routine is out. at home i have an ab-lounge and a couple of 5lb dumbells that i use, but i just don't feel like it's doing anything for me. it doesn't take me more than 10 minutes-if that-to complete my current roitine and i know that i need to add something to it.
and then there is the food situation...i think i've allowed myself to become addicted to food. it sounds ridiculous, but i really think it's true! i've never really been on a strict diet, but i would watch how much sweets and things i would eat. now, it's like i get the thought to eat something, and i go do it. just like that, with no second thought on the matter. i have to fix that. i really hope that writing about it will help me keep my focus and help re-train my mind on the way it thinks of food. plus, if i eat less, my stomach has to shrink, right? ahh...we'll see how this goes...